I wrote this song in early 2000 around the same time that I had my first pass at “When Your Ship Goes Down.” I had wrapped up recording Lost and Found, and I was living in an attic room on Hilliard Avenue. Read the post on “Fairy Tales”, so I don’t have to repeat myself here. The short version: I had recovered from cancer, and had been pining for some time over this girl that I’ve been calling “Glory.” Not sure why I’m changing names. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind, but it makes it easier for me to write, I suppose.
I had been in Louisville for about five months after a brief five-week stint in New York City. I had gone out with Glory a few times, but I made no progress and feeling uncertain of myself, I returned home. Who can understand the heart? I continued to write letters to her, but eventually she called me to let me know that there I really had no chance, and should move on, which was kind of her.
I wallowed for a few months- as you do- when I stumbled into the exact opposite experience. I was down at Actor’s Theatre to have a few drinks with my friend Kathy. I had wandered backstage to see where Kathy was, and headed to the bar. Kathy came up to me, and said, “I have friend who is in an intern here, who took one look at you, and asked, 'Who’s the hottie?'” I was never known for moving quickly, but I guess I had never had this kind of insider information before.
So I met her friend, an intern named Genevieve, and she was a stunning confident woman. She was 23, which I bring up, because I had had luck with that age. I first experienced that age, when I dated this woman Romona from college. She graduated and 23 was like, “What the fuck do I do now?” She was adrift, uncertain, and since I was in love with her, I was sailing behind in her choppy waters.
We dated for a while, broke up (we actually repeated that cycle a few times), and then I turned 23, and I must say I felt very much the same. I had yearnings, but no direction. I moved to Key West for a summer, and then back to Louisville, and then up to New York City. I never thought I would revisit that age, but Genevieve seemed to have a very clear idea of what she wanted, and she was making it happen. I asked her out, and the next thing I knew, we were dating. It was like a breath of fresh air. I mean, I had spent a year and a half pining, wishing and hoping, and then all of a sudden- I got the girl.
And so the song is a kind of celebration of being accepted, and comforted and healed. I mean, I wasn’t just getting over a girl, I was getting over cancer, and Genevieve somehow was able to take me out of that place. The line “down into the fire again” is about the leap of faith we take when, having been hurt, we choose to love again. I’m not sure I’d even brought up “love” to Genevieve, and while I did write her love songs, this song was not one of them.
Genevieve’s character in the song doesn’t even enter into the song until the third verse, so it’s a bit of a goodbye song mixed with a hello song, and since “Hello, Goodbye” was already written, I had to write this one.
The song was often part of the set for Phelim, Andrew and I (Navigators 2.0), but it was hard to pull off as a trio. We never tried to record it. It wasn't until I was playing with Brian, Naren and Cuzin D (Navigators 3.0) that the song came together. The band persuaded me that we needed to record it during the Love and War sessions. My first reaction when I heard our recording is that it didn't sound like the fun we had playing it, but the version that ultimately was released on Standing on a Rock, is the same one that began in that session. It just needed a bit of care and love.
This song is definitely part of the musical I Crossed the Waters (read the post on “When Your Ship Goes Down"). This could be Orpheus’ or Jason’s songs- I’m not sure who. Obviously, I didn’t set out to write a musical when I wrote this song, but man, there’s a story in the images that I used.
It’s weird, because sometimes I can’t just tell you what actually happened. The truth can be so scary- especially if you’re talking to strangers. And if you’re writing songs about people you know and love, well, then forget it. I would never be able to write another song, if people knew who I was talking about. So I use certain images to represent certain events in my life, so I can tell a story that is emotionally true, without being factually true. I’m not a reporter, after all.