Shortly after recording Glory, Glory, I began to date my wife, Jesse. I remember the day we met- not because it was love at first sight, but because it was mother’s day and my birthday, and there had been a woman poet who went on before our gig who proceeded to get naked on stage, and had a merkin to boot. So, you remember things like that.
We were both with other people at the time, so we weren’t really looking for love. I think that was our first show. Two girlfriends later, I was single and I asked her for her phone number, and she turned me down. I had just broken up with my previous girlfriend, so she probably thought I was on the rebound. One of the tricks to dating in your social circle is that everybody already knows what’s going on with you.
So a few months go by, and we’re all in a bar (the band and our entourage), and I figured, “I’m clearly not on the rebound now.” So I asked her again, and she turned me down. Strike two. Now I’m not the kind of guy to take no for a maybe. I don’t think I’ve ever asked a girl out a second time. I clearly wasn’t thinking straight, which is unusual, because usually I overthink anything that involves a relationship.
At any rate, another six months go by. It’s been a year of my trying to ask her out, and for some reason I try for a third time. And this time she said yes. So, of course, I’m on cloud nine. All of a sudden I’m writing up a storm. The songs are just pouring out of me. I’m writing a lot of happy love songs, which is not like me at all. That summer I wrote more love songs than I had written in my whole songwriting career combined (and that’s still true).
While I wrote a lot of songs for my wife, this one’s my favorite. I wrote it during the honeymoon period, and it really captures the feeling of possibility of that stage. Who knew that twenty years later we’d be living together and raising kids?
The song was part of the ill-fated Love and War sessions, and was ultimately left off of Love and War, Vol. 1, because I was planning to put out a follow up with a more acoustic feel, and it never got released. I didn’t think the song would get much better than it sounded fifteen years ago, but I came back to it last Spring with fresh ears, and added a little bit hear and there. I didn’t want the song to sound to fussy.
It’s funny, because I used to teach a class called “Song Studies” at Governor’s Scholars, and one of my lessons was to explore the concept of healthy relationships through the medium of song. It was kind of fun to play popular songs and then ask, “Does this song describe a healthy relationship?” Some are obvious like “Every Breath You Take”, but I think Rick Ashley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” isn’t all that different in sentiment. At any rate, this song is about trying to forge a healthy relationship, which probably guarantees that is will never get airplay.